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Why Ask Why?
anonymous
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? You know how most packages say "open here." What is the protocol if the package says, "open elsewhere?" Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do we park on driveways and drive in parkways? Why are they called "apart"ments when they're so close together? Why, when we go to a baseball game, do we sit in the stands? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of that same substance? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? If you throw a sheet over your head for a Halloween costume, are you dressed as a ghost or a mattress? Do chickens think rubber humans are funny? What's a civil war? Isn't that an oxymoron? (Read Becca's Civil War story.) If all the world's a stage, where is the audience sitting? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown too? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? Why do they call them "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? Why do they call it tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? If most car accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away? Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live? If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? OK, so what's the speed of dark? If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food? What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? How do they get deer to cross at that yellow road sign? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? |
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